Escape to Paradise: Old Rectory Boutique Hotel, Plettenberg Bay
Escape to Paradise: Old Rectory Boutique Hotel - A Review From a Real Person (Who Loves a Good Soak)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea – and maybe a little bit of the bathwater – on the Old Rectory Boutique Hotel in Plettenberg Bay. I've just gotten back, and my brain is still trying to defrag from all the sunshine, luxury, and… well, let's just say experiences.
SEO & Metadata Nuggets (Don't worry, I'll keep it real!):
- Keywords: Plettenberg Bay hotels, Boutique hotels South Africa, Accessible hotels, Spa hotels, Luxury accommodation, Old Rectory Plettenberg Bay, Wheelchair accessible hotels, Wi-Fi hotels, South African travel, Things to do Plettenberg Bay.
- Description: Honest review of the Old Rectory Boutique Hotel in Plettenberg Bay, South Africa. Covering accessibility, amenities, dining, services, and my (very personal) take on the whole shebang. Expect real-life anecdotes, quirks, and maybe a rant or two.
- Meta Title: Old Rectory Review: Plett Paradise? Honest, Messy, and Worth It?
Accessibility - The Bit That Matters (Especially to Me!):
Okay, let's start with what’s important: can you actually get around the place? The Old Rectory mostly delivers on accessibility. They've clearly thought about it, which is a huge plus. There's an elevator (THANK GOD!), so getting to your room isn't a mountain climb. They mention facilities for guests with disabilities - and boy, do I love a mention! My room? Not bad. Didn't feel like I needed a Sherpa.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: I'm not sure how it compared to my room. The dining areas, from what I could tell, seemed pretty workable, but I didn't exactly do an obstacle course test. It's Plett, so you can always find something on the main road.
Wheelchair accessible: The primary areas of the ground floor are wheelchair accessible. The gardens are also designed with accessibility in mind. However, a few areas on higher levels may have restrictions. Call ahead to get all the nitty-gritty!
Internet – The Lifeblood (And Possibly My Downfall):
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Woohoo! I love that, seriously. Internet [LAN], nope I didn't use it. Internet services – were decent, didn't have to do a handstand while on a zoom call. Wi-Fi in public areas: Strong enough for all the Insta-stories. I had no problem uploading all the selfies I took.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax – My Happy Place… Mostly:
Ugh, okay, deep breaths. This is where the Old Rectory really shines.
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: I dove headfirst. The spa is GORGEOUS. Seriously. The pool with view? Sigh. The sauna was… steamy. In a good way. The steamroom? I could have lived in there. Okay, maybe not lived lived there. But I could have happily spent a week. The body scrub? Divine. They actually got the pressure. The body wrap? I felt like a swaddled baby in the lap of luxury.
- Swimming pool: Oh, the pool! It was perfect for a lazy float, gazing at the view, and contemplating the meaning of life. Or at least, the meaning of my next cocktail.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Did I use it? No. Did I see it? Yes. Looked well-equipped, for the people who do that sort of thing. I prefer a well-stocked mini-bar.
- Massage: YES! I had a massage. (Because, you know, research.) It was one of the best massages I've ever had. My masseuse, bless her, actually managed to untangle the knots I didn't even KNOW I had. Pure bliss.
- Foot bath: Didn't get around to it!
- Sauna: Already mentioned, but worth mentioning again.
Cleanliness & Safety – Did I Get Sick? (Important Question!):
They're definitely taking things seriously.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good. I trust them.
- Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: Reassuring.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. I felt safe, despite the temptation of the pool.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Standard, but important.
- Hygiene certification: They look like they're following the rules.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Appreciated.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Mostly adhered to.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays: Good.
- Safe dining setup: Made me feel comfortable.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Yep.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They seemed to know their stuff.
- Sterilizing equipment: I didn’t exactly peek in the back kitchen - but I didn't get sick, so that's a win!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Fueling the Relaxation:
Oh, the food! It's a crucial part of the experience, isn't it?
- A la carte in restaurant: Yes. A good selection.
- Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: Options are always good.
- Bar, Poolside bar, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: They've got it all.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant: The breakfast buffet alone is worth the trip. Seriously. It’s a visual masterpiece of croissants, cheeses, fruit… I had a little bit of everything. Okay, maybe not everything, but I tried.
- Restaurants, Room service [24-hour]: Excellent.
- Desserts in restaurant: Yes!
- Happy hour: YES! Because, vacation.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Options available.
- Bottle of water, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service: Standard, but appreciated.
- Alternative meal arrangement: They were accommodating.
- Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: Everything tasted good.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things That Matter (Or Annoy):
- Air conditioning in public area & in all rooms: Glorious. Because Plett gets HOT.
- Business facilities: Didn't use 'em. I was on vacation.
- Cash withdrawal: Yes.
- Concierge: Helpful.
- Contactless check-in/out: Easy peasy.
- Convenience store: Didn't see one.
- Currency exchange, Doorman: Yep.
- Daily housekeeping: The room was spotless.
- Dry cleaning, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery: Good to know.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Small, but cute.
- Indoor venue for special events, Outdoor venue for special events: They host weddings and stuff.
- Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service: Standard.
- Luggage storage: They’ll hold your bags.
- Meeting/banquet facilities: Didn't see them.
- Safety deposit boxes: Good.
- Terrace: Nice spot to sit and contemplate.
- Wi-Fi for special events: Didn't use it.
- Xerox/fax in business center: Didn't use it.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Taxi service, Valet parking: Easy parking. Valet was helpful.
For the Kids (If You Have Them - I Don't):
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids meal, Kids facilities: They seem to cater to families. But I'm not a parent, so I can’t really comment!
Access & Safety – Peace of Mind (Important):
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher: All good.
- Front desk [24-hour], Hotel chain, Non-smoking rooms, Proposal spot, Room decorations, Soundproof rooms, Smoke alarms, Security [24-hour]: You feel safe.
Getting Around – Getting Out and About:
- Airport transfer: They can arrange it (expensive).
- Bicycle parking: Yes.
- Car power charging station: They have them.
- Taxi service: Available.
Available in All Rooms – The Essentials:
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed: The basics are covered, and then some.
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because you're about to get the inside scoop on my chaotic, glorious, and possibly slightly disastrous trip to the Old Rectory Boutique Hotel in Plettenberg Bay. Consider this a travel itinerary… but with a healthy dose of reality and a side order of existential dread. Okay, maybe not that last part. Mostly.
Day 1: Arrival & Unrealistic Expectations
14:00 - Arrival & Instant Disappointment (briefly). Okay, so the drive from the airport was supposed to be all scenic coastal bliss, right? Turns out, road construction. So much road construction. My first thought: This is not the postcard I envisioned. My second: Oh dear god, my luggage. I was so close to losing it when I saw the hotel though. Seriously, the Old Rectory is stunning. Like, jaw-droppingly gorgeous. The photo's did it some injustice, it's just so…green. So tranquil. The staff, bless their hearts, were all smiles, but I'm pretty sure they could see the road-rage-fueled grumpiness radiating off me.
15:00 - The Room & The Great Bed Test. My room? Heaven. A four-poster bed that whispered sweet nothings of "sleep" to my weary soul. I dropped my bags, collapsed onto it, and did the "bed bounce" test. Passed with flying colors. I'm talking Olympic-level bounce. The only problem? I promptly fell asleep. Before unpacking. Before even looking at the mini-bar (major oversight).
17:00 - Afternoon Tea & The Great Scone Debacle. Afternoon tea. Fancy, right? Wrong. The scones were delightful. But I had a very important question to answer right when I was about to eat a scone… Where do I put all the tea? It was so distracting, and a bit humiliating to be honest.
19:00 - Dinner at The Dining Room & the Slightly Awkward Encounter. The food was heavenly. I ate all the food. Met a nice couple, but got a little too enthusiastic about their travel stories and may have accidentally monopolized the conversation. Oops. Also, I think I spilled red wine on myself. Twice. Don't judge me, it was a potent Pinotage.
Day 2: Beach Bliss & Brief Existential Crisis
08:00 - Breakfast, Bliss, and the Threat of Overeating. Okay, breakfast. The breakfast buffet at the Old Rectory is dangerous. I was trying to be all "mindful eating," but then there were those tiny croissants and the fresh fruit. I nearly passed out from happiness. I think I had three plates. No regrets. (Later I'd feel a regret. But not then!)
09:30 - Exploring the Beach & The Unexpected Encounter with a Wave. Plettenberg Bay beach is just… wow. The sand? Pristine. The water? Sparkling. Spent the morning swimming, sunbathing, and generally feeling like a goddess. Until a rogue wave decided to body-slam me. Lost my hat. Got sand in every crevice. Briefly considered leaving the ocean and embracing the existential dread, but the sheer beauty of the place pulled me back in.
12:30 - Lunch & the Philosophical Musings of a Sandwich. Lunch on the beach. Simple, delicious. While eating my sandwich, I staring out at the ocean, and the philosophical questions really hit hard. What is the meaning of a sandwich? Is a good lunch the same as the meaning of life? Just some light pondering.
14:00 - Spa Time & the Great Massage Meltdown. The spa. Oh, the spa. I booked a massage. It was supposed to be all relaxation and tranquility. But I'm terrible at relaxing. My mind kept cycling through everything I'd done throughout the week. The masseuse could probably hear me breathing. Apparently, I snore when I relax, which is not great for a massage. I tried so hard to be cool and zen. And then I fell asleep, drooling. I woke up feeling more stiff and stressed than ever.
17:00 - Sundowners & the Verdict on Life. The hotel bar is gorgeous, really. Ordered a cocktail, sat on the patio, watched the sunset. Life, I decided, was complicated but beautiful. And cocktails make everything better.
19:30 - Dinner & The Great Wine Experiment. Another divine dinner at the restaurant. This time, I took the waiter's recommendation and tried a new wine. I’m pretty sure it was the best wine I've ever had. The taste was so exciting, I started making up descriptions.
Day 3: Coastal Hike & The Final Farewell (for now)
08:00 - The Final Breakfast Frenzy I knew this was the final breakfast. Knowing this, I went ham. I didn't care, it was the last time. I had enough food to sustain me through a small war.
09:30 - Robberg Nature Reserve Hike & the Spectacular Views. The hike was amazing. Sweaty, challenging, but worth it. The views from the top of the Robberg Peninsula were breathtaking. I felt like I could see all of my life stretching out beneath me, and then I took a series of photos.
12:30 - Lunch with the Seals. The seals are hilarious and a little bit disgusting, but mostly hilarious. They're all big blubber and so noisy.
14:00 - Packing (or Rather, the Art of Squeezing Everything Back In). Leaving. Seriously, Plettenberg Bay, don't make me leave. Packing my bags was a Herculean task because I realized I have far too many belongings. After 2 hours, I was successful.
16:00 - Final Goodbyes & The Promise of Return. I made the mistake of getting emotional at checkout. The staff's kindness really hit me. I promised I would be back. And I mean it. This place… it got under my skin. It was messy, and chaotic, and maybe a little bit embarrassing at times. But it was also perfect. I left the Old Rectory, my suitcase a little heavier, my heart a little fuller, and my stomach? Well, let's just say I'll be on a diet for a while. See you later, Plett!
Escape to Paradise: Old Rectory - The REAL Deal FAQs (with a healthy dose of 'me' thrown in)
Alright, let's address the elephant in the room...or maybe the cheeky monkey on the balcony. This ain't your glossy brochure, folks. This is what you *really* want to know before you book a stay at that "Escape to Paradise" joint. Or, you know, decide NOT to. No judgement.
1. Is it *actually* paradise? Because I've been promised paradise before, and ended up with a damp holiday cottage and a cat that hated me.
Okay, disclaimer: My definition of paradise might differ from yours. If your heaven involves zero screaming children, perfectly pressed linen, and the unwavering silence of a Trappist monastery, then...maybe lower your expectations. BUT, after being promised pure bliss, yes. It's *pretty* damn close. Think rolling lawns, THAT ocean view, and enough peace and quiet to actually hear your own thoughts (which, believe me, is a dangerous thing, especially after a few cocktails). But, also it's a very subjective thing, depends on your tolerance for a bit of "character." Not all staff is at the same level of "on it".
For me? Paradise. Absolutely. For my slightly anxious Aunt Mildred? Possibly a bit *too* tranquil. She actually started knitting violently after the second day, a sure sign of stress for her.
2. Are the rooms as fancy as the pictures? Because let's be honest, hotel photography is basically witchcraft.
Alright, the photos...they are good. Very good. The rooms *mostly* live up to the hype. Think plush, well-appointed, with a charming "lived-in" feel (a polite way of saying, "it doesn't feel like a sterile hotel prison"). My room DID have a slight damp smell at first. Nothing pungent or off-putting, but I had to air it out a bit. I'm sure I can hear Mrs. Karen from reception's voice in my mind, "We are so sorry for any inconveniences...". It disappeared quickly, and the view from my balcony... Oh. My. God. That view. Forget the damp, I could have slept in a ditch and been happy. The bathroom was actually quite big and had good water pressure, which is also a big perk.
3. What's the food like? Because "boutique" often translates to "tiny portions and ridiculous prices."
Okay, the food. Let's be real. I lived off the breakfast. The breakfast alone probably justified the price of the stay. Seriously. The granola was handcrafted by tiny fairy hands I'm convinced. Fresh fruit, proper coffee (a must!), and the eggs? Perfect. And don't be afraid to ask for extra of anything — the staff are lovely about it. Dinner was also fabulous, but expensive. I almost choked when I got the bill. But, that's the price you pay to be pampered. It's a splurge, but hey, you're on holiday! Although, I did end up sneaking some biscuits back to the room. Don't tell anyone.
4. That pool... Is it as Instagrammable as it looks? Because, let's face it, we're all there for the 'grams.
Oh, the pool. Yes. YES. It is stunning. It's the kind of pool that makes you want to buy a white linen caftan and pretend you're a film star. Although, be warned: it can get a bit crowded. Especially around sunset. A gaggle of influencers were trying to take photos. And the kids. The kids were everywhere. So. If you want that pristine, influencer-free experience, go early. Or late. Or just, you know, embrace the chaos. Because it's gorgeous. End of story.
5. Any downsides? Because nothing is perfect. (And I’m a cynical so-and-so.)
Okay, yeah, there are a few. First off, the location. It's kind of...remote. Which is great for peace and quiet, but less great if you're a party animal. You'll need a car to get anywhere, and Ubers are, well, not really a thing. The service...mostly great! Some staff seem a little green (and maybe a bit overwhelmed when it's busy). My room was only cleaned late - like 4pm. Minor grumbles. Also, the weather is unpredictable. We had glorious sunshine, then a torrential downpour that lasted all day. Bring an umbrella! And a good book. So, yeah, it's not *flawless*, but trust me, the good outweighs the bad. By a mile.
**Important Note:** The wind. Oh, the wind. Plettenberg Bay is notorious for its wind. It's not always pleasant. So, pack layers. And maybe a hat. Seriously.
6. The Spa...is it worth it? Because I’m a sucker for a good massage.
Okay, the spa. This is one area where I wholeheartedly recommend splurging. Forget the cost, book that massage. Seriously. It was the best massage of my life. The therapist was a tiny, zen-like woman who seemed to magically iron out every knot in my back. I literally floated out of there. Pure bliss. The spa facilities themselves are beautiful, and the whole experience is designed to be relaxing. I might have cried a little bit afterward, I was so relaxed. It was an emotional rollercoaster. Book it. Now. Forget the money. Just do it.
7. Are the staff friendly? Because nobody wants to be treated like a burden.
Generally, yes. The staff are lovely, genuinely. They're helpful, friendly, and they try their best to make your experience enjoyable. There's that slight "newbie" vibe in some areas. But give them a break, they are getting to know the ropes. The front desk staff are exceptionally helpful, especially when I was an idiot and locked myself out of my room at 3 am. Oops. But the service is above average, even when I wasn't at my best.
8. Okay, spill. Would you go back? And would you recommend it?
Absolutely. Despite the minor imperfections. The view, the food, the spa… it all addsWeb Hotel Search Site
