Metropolis Getaway: I-24's Best-Kept Secret Hotel!
Metropolis Getaway: I-24's Secret? More Like a Chaotic Adventure! (A Review That's Probably Too Honest)
Alright, folks, buckle up. I just spent a few days, and nights, at the Metropolis Getaway – the place that, according to some, is I-24's best-kept secret. Secret? More like…experienced. Let's just say it was a journey. A messy, sometimes glorious, and occasionally baffling journey. This review? It's gonna be just as chaotic.
First Impressions & Arrival – (The "Yay! I'm Here!" Moment…Briefly)
Driving up, Metropolis Getaway looked the part. Modernish, with some vaguely promising landscaping. The signage, though? A little…faded. Okay, a lot faded. Like, "sun-bleached and questioning its life choices" kind of faded. But hey, I'm up for an adventure, right?
Accessibility & Getting In the Door (And Is Anyone There?):
Right off the bat, I have to commend them (sort of). They do seem to try. There's an elevator, which is a huge plus for anyone with mobility constraints. The ramps were…present. Not always the smoothest ramps, mind you, but they were there. And the front desk…well, let's be honest, at check-in, I swear I saw tumbleweeds rolling past. The staff was pleasant enough…eventually. Getting someone to actually check me in took a little longer than expected. Felt like I was playing a game of hide-and-seek with the reception staff. But hey, at least they had the elevator, some decent ramp angles, and those crucial facilities for disabled guests. (Bless them for those things!)
Room Rundown - (The Good, The Bad, And the Questionable Wallpaper):
My room? Alright, so it was…well-equipped. Available in all rooms: Air conditioning (a lifesaver!), Alarm clock (because I'm apparently incapable of waking up without one), Bathrobes (a touch of luxury!), Bathroom phone (when you absolutely have to call from the tub, I guess?), Bathtub (bliss!), Blackout curtains (essential for beating jet lag, which I had!), Carpeting (kinda old, but cleanish), Closet (thank goodness - I overpack!), Coffee/tea maker (I live on the stuff!), Complimentary tea (appreciated…), Daily housekeeping (a godsend!), Desk (useful!), Extra long bed (yay for tall people!), Free bottled water (always a good thing!), Hair dryer (thank you, sweet baby Jesus!), High floor (made me feel fancy!), In-room safe box (safety first!), Internet access – wireless (essential!), Ironing facilities (wrinkle-free travel!), Laptop workspace (yes!), Linens (clean!), Mini bar (tempting…), Mirror (check!), Non-smoking (hallelujah!), On-demand movies (gotta love a rainy day!), Private bathroom (duh!), Reading light (for late night reading!), Refrigerator (essential for chilling that mini-bar water!), Safety/security feature (peace of mind!), Satellite/cable channels (zombie apocalypse preparation), Scale (the dreaded…), Seating area (nice for lounging!), Separate shower/bathtub (luxury!), Shower (working!), Slippers (nice touch!), Smoke detector (thank you!), Socket near the bed (phone charging!), Sofa (yay for loungin'!), Soundproofing (needed!), Telephone (retro!), Toiletries (basic, but there!), Towels (fluffy!), Umbrella (for those surprise downpours!), Visual alarm (thoughtful!), Wake-up service (reliable!), Wi-Fi [free] (praise the gods!), Window that opens (fresh air!).
Things that made my room experience…ahem…interesting.
- The wallpaper. Let's just say it was…unique. Floral, in a shade of beige that I'd swear was out of style in the 1980s.
- The soundproofing wasn't exactly Fort Knox-level. I could hear the elevator dinging, the occasional late-night chatters in the hallway, and, if I really strained, I'm pretty sure I could hear the folks in the room beside me attempting to put together IKEA furniture (it was a long night).
- My "extra long bed" was barely long enough for me. I'm not saying I'm that tall, but my feet were definitely hanging off the end.
- The water pressure in the shower was…let's just say I wouldn't want to wash a car with it.
- My room had an "air conditioner" that was apparently on a mission of its own. It was either freezing, or feeling like a sauna…there was no middle ground.
- The minibar? Was tempting, yes. But it also had a little sticker that made me think "Price gouging"
Cleanliness & Safety – (Hoping for the Best, Expecting…Something Else):
Cleanliness and safety: Anti-viral cleaning products (okay, good…), Breakfast in room (didn't try, but appreciated the option!), Breakfast takeaway service (again, good!), Cashless payment service (modern!), Daily disinfection in common areas (noticed some!), Doctor/nurse on call (hopefully never need it, but good to know!), First aid kit (essential!), Hand sanitizer (everywhere!), Hot water linen and laundry washing (thank goodness!), Hygiene certification (hmmm…), Individually-wrapped food options (good!), Physical distancing of at least 1 meter (mostly observed!), Professional-grade sanitizing services (hopefully!), Room sanitization opt-out available (nice!), Rooms sanitized between stays (praying!), Safe dining setup (more on that later!), Sanitized kitchen and tableware items (fingers crossed!), Shared stationery removed (smart!), Staff trained in safety protocol (seemed like it!), Sterilizing equipment (let's hope it works!).
This is where things got…uneven. The common areas looked like they were being cleaned regularly. But, there were little things. A slightly sticky table in the lobby. A dust bunny or two in the hallway. My room? It was passable. Not sparkling, but not a biohazard zone either. They certainly tried to make it feel safe, but there's always that niggling feeling of, "Did they really get everything?"
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - (Food Adventures!)
Dining, drinking, and snacking: A la carte in restaurant (yes!), Alternative meal arrangement (good for picky eaters!), Asian breakfast (didn't see it), Asian cuisine in restaurant (ditto), Bar (yep!), Bottle of water (essential!), Breakfast [buffet] (more on that!), Breakfast service (yes!), Buffet in restaurant (more on that!), Coffee/tea in restaurant (YES!), Coffee shop (nope), Desserts in restaurant (eh), Happy hour (sometimes!), International cuisine in restaurant (eh), Poolside bar (didn't see one), Restaurants (yes!), Room service 24-hour, Salad in restaurant (yes!), Snack bar (nope), Soup in restaurant (yes!), Vegetarian restaurant (nope), Western breakfast (yep!), Western cuisine in restaurant (yes!).
Okay, the dining experience was…a mixed bag. The 'restaurant' had a menu that was a little bit dated. The breakfast buffet was your typical hotel buffet. Eggs, bacon, the usual suspects. The coffee? Weak. The service? Chaotic. I saw the waitstaff run out of coffee cups…they ran out of bread…and then there was that one morning, when I saw a waiter dropping the spoon, and then picking it up and putting it back on the buffet… I just stuck to prepackaged cereal after that). I bravely tried the soup one night. It was…soup.
Services and Conveniences – (The Good, the Okay, and the "Huh?")
Services and conveniences: Air conditioning in public area (yes!), Audio-visual equipment for special events (maybe?), Business facilities (probably somewhere), Cash withdrawal (never tried), Concierge (wasn't there much), Contactless check-in/out (yes!), Convenience store (nope), Currency exchange (nope), Daily housekeeping (yes!), Doorman (mostly), Dry cleaning (nope), Elevator (yes!), Essential condiments (probably), Facilities for disabled guests (yes!), Food delivery (nope), Gift/souvenir shop (nope), Invoice provided (yes!), Ironing service (yes!), Laundry service (yep!), Luggage storage (yes!), Meeting/banquet facilities (doubt it!), Meetings (maybe?), Meeting stationery (maybe?), On-site event hosting (maybe?), Outdoor venue for special events (maybe?), Projector/LED display (who knows?), Safety deposit boxes (yes!), Seminars (nope), Shrine (nope), Smoking area (yep), Terrace (nope), Wi-Fi for special events (possibly?), Xerox/fax in business center (nope!).
The good: The staff was mostly helpful, when you could find them. The daily housekeeping was reliable. Facilities for disabled guests helped. Contactless check-in/out was smooth.
The "huh?": The "convenience store" was conspicuously missing. The "gift shop"? Nope. The "terraces"? None sighted. The "business facilities"? Maybe in another building?
For the Kids – (If you're brave enough!)
Astana House Bali: Your Dream Indonesian Villa Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. Because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned vacation itinerary. This is the raw, uncut, slightly-caffeinated truth about a trip to the Quality Inn & Suites Metropolis I-24 Metropolis (IL), United States. (And trust me, this is already proving to be a journey.)
Day 1: Arrival and the Unholy Quest for a Microwave
1:00 PM - 1:30 PM: Touchdown (Sort Of)
Arrived at Quality Inn after a slightly-too-long drive. My GPS, bless her heart, steered us through what I swear was someone's backyard at one point. The sign promised "Comfortable Rooms!" and my back really needed comfort, so let's hope they're not lying. Checked in with a guy who looked like he’d seen a hundred tourists, the same amount of boredom, and maybe a ghost or two. He handed me my key, and it felt a little bit like winning a lottery ticket made of plastic.
1:30 PM - 2:00 PM: Room Reconnaissance and the Dreaded Microwave Hunt
Okay, the room is…functional. Beige, mostly. The air conditioning is chugging along like a geriatric steam engine, but hey, at least it's cooling. My first mission: find the microwave. I packed leftovers, and the thought of cold pasta fills me with a dread that could rival a zombie apocalypse. The brochure lied. No microwave. Panic sets in.
2:00 PM - 2:30 PM: The Front Desk Confrontation.
Back to the front desk, where I make a desperate plea. Now, I had a feeling this might be a long shot, but I needed to try to convince the gentleman at the reception to see the problem. After a bit of an argument, the employee finally gave us a room with a microwave. Oh, glory!
2:30 PM - 3:30 PM: Settling In and the Allure of the "Free" Breakfast
Unpacked. Found the remote. Tested the TV. (Yes, they have some channels.) My partner, bless her heart, declared a nap. I, however, am fueled by a potent mixture of caffeine and the crushing fear of boredom. Contemplating the "free breakfast" advertised. It can be absolutely anything from a sad selection of stale pastries to a veritable buffet of lukewarm scrambled eggs. The anticipation is… intense.
3:30 PM - 5:30 PM: The Metropolis Meander and the Superman Sighting (Maybe?)
Decided to be a tourist. Headed downtown. Saw the Superman statue. It's… big. And shiny. Took a picture, of course. The sun was blaring, and the streets were surprisingly quiet. Had a bite to eat at a tiny diner. The waitress was chatty, and the iced tea was borderline nectar of the gods. Definitely a highlight. Still, the search for true adventure continues!
5:30 PM - 7:00 PM: Dinner Drama and the Quest for Wi-Fi
Dinner time. Decided on a local restaurant; it advertised "Authentic Southern Cuisine". Ordered the fried chicken, which was, at least, edible. The Wi-Fi, on the other hand…was a disaster. Kept disconnecting, making me feel like a prisoner in a digital gulag.
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Evening of TV and the Dream of Hot Pasta
Back at the hotel. Finally got the Wi-Fi working. Watched some TV. Ate our reheated pasta, finally a success. It was bliss. My partner is snoring softly, and I'm already dreading the "free breakfast."
9:00 PM onwards: Sleep. Hopefully.
Off to bed. Praying for a decent night's sleep and a miracle at the breakfast buffet. Send prayers.
Day 2: Breakfast Betrayal, and the Curse of the Gift Shop.
7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: Breakfast, the Betrayal
Woke up full of hope. Strolled down to the breakfast area. The reality, it turns out, was as soul-crushing as I predicted. The pastries appeared to have been baked in the Jurassic Era. The "scrambled eggs" looked suspiciously artificial. The coffee, however, was drinkable. Filled my plate with fruit (at least it was fresh). 3/10 experience.
8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Room, Room, Where Art Thou?
Relaxation. My partner is still sleeping. Planning the next move. Debating a re-visit to the Superman statue. Let it marinate.
9:00 AM - 11:00 AM: The Superman Experience (Round 2)
The Superman complex. It's… okay. Some fun props for photos. Went to the gift shop. I love gift shops.
11:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Gift Shop Shenanigans
I spent an embarrassing amount of time in the gift shop. Like, way too long. The urge to buy a Superman-themed air freshener was almost too strong. Came away with a few keychains and a t-shirt I'll probably never wear. The allure of the gift shop.
12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch, Then Back to the Room
Lunch at a different restaurant, a bit better this time, but I'm starting to feel a sort of…melancholy. Like, the kind of melancholy that settles in when a vacation is starting to wind down. I think it's the beige walls.
1:00 PM - onwards: Pack, Relax, and Head Out.
Packed my stuff. Time to head out. I'm honestly ready to go, but also… maybe I’ll miss this place? No, probably not.
Final Thoughts:
This trip was messy, imperfect, and, at times, utterly ridiculous. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. The Quality Inn? It's a Quality Inn. It is what it is. The people were pleasant. The pasta was delicious. And hey, I survived. Now time to unpack and start planning the next adventure.
Berlin's Hottest Hotel: Ku'damm Luxury Awaits!
Metropolis Getaway: Spill The Tea... You HAVE Questions, Right?
Okay, spill it. Is this "Metropolis Getaway" actually any good, or just some roadside motel in disguise? Because, let's be real, I-24 has seen some things...
What's the deal with these "hidden gems" that are supposed to be nearby? They always seem to be… underwhelming.
Seriously though… is it CLEAN? Because the horror stories from some of these places...
What's the "vibe" like? Is it all chain-smoking truckers and questionable characters?
Is the pool actually swimmable? I’ve seen some scary motel pools, and I am a nervous Nelly.
What about the breakfast? Is it the typical, sad continental fare of stale pastries and instant coffee?
Okay, let’s talk about the *real* stuff: the downsides. What did you not like? Dish the dirt.
So, bottom line: Should I stay there?
