Unbelievable Newquay Stay: Trelinda Guest House Awaits!
Unbelievable Newquay Stay: Trelinda Guest House Awaits! (Or Maybe…?) - A Messy, Honest Review
Alright folks, buckle up. Because this isn’t your run-of-the-mill, perfectly polished hotel review. I’m here to tell you about Trelinda Guest House in Newquay, warts and all. And let me tell you, there were plenty of warts. Prepare for a roller-coaster ride of opinions, anxieties, and the occasional (loud) sigh.
SEO & Meta-frenzy (Because, you know, gotta play the game!):
- Title: Unbelievable Newquay Stay: Trelinda Guest House Review - Is it REALLY as good as they say?
- Keywords: Trelinda Guest House, Newquay, Cornwall, Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Pool, Breakfast, WiFi, Cleanliness, Safety, Family Friendly, Car Park, Restaurant, Modern, Sea View.
- Description: A brutally honest and detailed review of Trelinda Guest House in Newquay. Find out about accessibility, cleanliness, food, and amenities – the good, the bad, and the utterly baffling! Prepare for unfiltered opinions.
First Impressions and the Anxiety Kicks In…"Gotta be professional"
So, Trelinda. The website looked lovely. Pictures of pristine rooms, promises of glorious sun-drenched breakfasts, and a "spa" that winked suggestively. I’m a sucker for a good spa. And after a long, stressful drive… well, a massage sounded like heaven. Oh god, I hope I didn't forget my toothbrush. (Starts checking luggage) So, I booked. Right. (takes a deep breath). Let’s do this.
Accessibility - A Mixed Bag (and a Few Cliffhangers)
Okay, so, on paper, Trelinda said it was accessible. They mentioned facilities for disabled guests (yay!), an elevator (double yay!), and even "wheelchair accessible" rooms (triple yay!). But here's the thing: the devil is always in the details. And those details were…well, they needed more inspection.
- The Elevator: Worked perfectly (phew!). But it was the tiniest elevator I’d ever encountered. Seriously, felt like I was squeezing into an antique biscuit tin. I'm not sure the wheelchair accessibility was perfect, the space inside the elevator was cramped. Good start though.
- The Public Areas: Generally level. The reception area had a reasonable amount of space.
- The Room (Eventually): I requested a "wheelchair accessible" room. They provided a different room. The bathroom door wasn't quite wide enough, but they did have grab bars. Baby steps. (I mean… that's what they hoped).
- My "Important" Thoughts: Overall, the accessibility was… well, it wasn't perfect. They're trying, which is more than some places. But they really need to focus on making sure those "accessible" rooms are actually accessible. It’s not just about ticking a box. It's about genuinely accommodating everyone.
Cleanliness and Safety – The Post-COVID Checklist
Right, post-pandemic travel. Cleanliness is, like, paramount, right? Trelinda was, again, trying hard. They listed a gazillion things.
- Anti-viral Cleaning Products: Good. I'm all for it.
- Daily Disinfection in Common Areas: Even better.
- Room Sanitization Between Stays: Reassuring.
- Staff Trained in Safety Protocol: Hopefully. (They seemed to be. But I also saw someone cough directly into their elbow…then wipe down the desk. Uh-oh).
- Hand Sanitizer Everywhere: Yes! At least they were doing this.
- The Reality Check: Look, the room looked and smelt clean. But my OCD brain was doing overtime. I brought my own sanitizing wipes, just in case.
Rooms - The Room of Many Things (And a Few Annoyances)
Okay, so, the room. Let's dive in, shall we? It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t quite the promised land of luxurious comfort.
- Air Conditioning: Thank god! It got hot in that room.
- Free Wi-Fi: Yes!
- Bed: Fine. Extra-long bed (I think)
- Soundproofing: Okay, mostly. I did hear some… spirited conversations from neighboring rooms.
- TV: Satellite/cable channels. Fine, I had my Netflix.
- The Annoyances: The bathroom was small. The lighting could have been better. Oh, and there was a distinct lack of plug near the bed. First world problems, I know. But still!
Dining, Drinking & Snacking - Breakfast, Baby! (Sort of…)
Breakfast. The make-or-break moment for any hotel, right? Trelinda wasn't bad, but it wasn't exactly a culinary masterpiece.
- Breakfast [Buffet]: Yes! A standard, continental breakfast. Not much choice, but good start.
- Coffee/Tea in Restaurant: The Coffee wasn't great.
- Breakfast [Buffet]: Yes.
- Alternative Meal Arrangement: The staff were accommodating and adapted for dietary requirements.
- My Big Thing: The breakfast room filled up rather quickly and there were too few staff.
Things to Do - Spa Dreams (and Reality Bites)
Okay, the spa. This was the thing that really sold me. I envisioned myself soaking in a jacuzzi, being kneaded into a state of blissful relaxation. The website pictures were divine. Well.
- The Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: I booked and went.
- Fitness Center: Nothing special.
- Pool with View: Ok.
Services and Conveniences - The Little Things
They had a lot of services, which was good.
- Daily Housekeeping: Yep, and they did a good job. It was appreciated.
- Concierge: There was someone to ask.
- Car Parking: Free, on-site. HUGE bonus in Newquay.
- Laundry Service: Handy.
- Cash Withdrawal: There was, like, a little bit.
For the Kids?
I didn't bring any kids with me, but they did have:
- Family/child friendly: Plenty of room for this to be the case.
- Babysitting service: available
- Kids meal: available
- Conclusion: Perfect for family trip.
Getting Around
- Car Park [free of charge]: A major win!
- Taxi Service: I took a taxi, it worked.
The Verdict - Honestly, I'm still not sure
Okay, so, Trelinda. It’s… complicated. It’s not a bad hotel. The staff were friendly, the location was pretty good, and the free parking was a godsend. But it wasn't perfect. The accessibility could be improved. The breakfast wasn’t mind-blowing. And the spa… well, let's just say my expectations were a bit… inflated.
Would I stay there again? Possibly. If they addressed some of the accessibility issues, and maybe spruced up the breakfast, I'd be tempted. But, honestly? I’d probably spend some time looking around before booking again. I'm left confused.
Final Rambling Thoughts:
- The Quirks: Did I mention the slightly wonky picture frames in the room? And the faint smell of… something… in the lift?
- The Emotional Rollercoaster: I arrived stressed. I left… slightly less stressed, but also vaguely disappointed.
- The Bottom Line: Trelinda could be amazing. It just needs a little more… well, everything. It's a work in progress, and I hope they keep working on it. Newquay deserves a truly excellent guest house.
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's itinerary. We're going to Newquay, to The Trelinda Guest House, and we're doing it my way. Consider this less a schedule and more… a slightly panicked, highly caffeinated roadmap with a tendency to veer off the beaten track.
The Trelinda Tango: A Messy, Emotional, and Honestly Humorous Adventure
Day 1: Arrival, Anxiety, and the Awkward Smile of a Coastal Town
- 13:00 - 14:00: Travel Chaos (or, the Great Train Robbery… of My Sanity): Okay, so trains. They lie. That's the first, and perhaps most important, thing to know. My "express" train to Newquay turned into a leisurely tour of the English countryside, complete with a delay caused by, and I kid you not, a stubborn cow on the tracks. Note to self: pack more emergency chocolate. Arrived at Newquay station, a bit frazzled, a bit sweaty, and fully convinced I'd left my passport on the train. Deep breaths. Found it. Crisis averted.
- 14:00 - 14:30: Trelinda Thresholding (and the Quest for Tea): The Trelinda. Oh. My. God. First impressions are… charmingly dated? The floral wallpaper is definitely making a statement. Check-in was smooth-ish. The lovely woman, bless her heart, probably takes a tea break, I wish I can have it ASAP. (Yes, I need tea. Desperately.) The room is clean, thankfully. And the view! OMG the view! (Okay, maybe the floral wallpaper is growing on me.)
- 14:30- 16:00: Beach Bound (and the Terrible Sandcastle Fail): First mission: get to the beach. Fistral Beach, to be exact. The waves were… massive. I looked like a tiny, flailing seal. Had lofty sandcastle ambitions. Built a pathetic, lopsided pile that promptly collapsed. But the sun! The air! The sheer, glorious lack of email notifications! It was bliss, even with the sand in my… well, everywhere.
- 16:00-17:00: Tea & First Impressions (and the Unexpected Snack Run): Back to the Trelinda, where I met the other guests, all as tired and slightly confused by the sea as me. A pleasant cup of tea (thank god!) in the communal garden. Then, a sudden, overwhelming craving for crisps. I needed Salt & Vinegar. The trek to the nearest Spar, I discovered, involved a rather impressive incline.
- 17:00-19:00: Coastal Walk (and the Realisation I Hate Walking): I started out with the lofty goal of a "gentle stroll" along the cliffs. Quickly devolved into a sweaty, whiny trek. Beautiful views, though! Seriously, the cliffs are insane. I also almost fell into the sea twice. I'm clearly not cut out for this whole "being outdoorsy" thing.
- 19:00-20:00: Dinner Dilemma (and the Regret of a Soggy Burger): Found a pub. The "burger and a pint" deal seemed promising. It was not. The burger was… sad. The pint was okay. Definitely feeling the post-train exhaustion.
- 20:00-22:00: Early Night (and the Ghosts of Old Hotels): Back to the Trelinda to sleep. I'm convinced this place has stories -- and probably some resident ghosts. Listening to some podcasts and falling asleep.
Day 2: Surfing, Sea Sickness, and the Epiphany of Clotted Cream
- 07:00 - 08:00: The Dreaded Alarm (and the Quest for Coffee): Alarm. Ugh. Coffee, now. The Trelinda's breakfast situation involves precisely one slice of toast and a "continental" spread that looks suspiciously like it's been there since the Tudor era. Coffee, however, was acceptable.
- 08:00 - 09:00: Surf's Up! (or, Attempting to Stand Up): Lesson time! Surfing. I'm picturing myself as a graceful goddess of the waves. The reality? I spent most of the time face-planting into the freezing water. The instructor was supremely patient, bless him. I did manage to stand, for maybe, three seconds. Victory!
- 09:00-11:00: The Unbearable Stomach (and the Waves of Doom): I am going to be sick.
- 11:00-12:00; Quick recovery (and the healing powers of a Sausage Roll): In the harbour I found this delicious bakery and got a sausage roll and felt better.
- 12:00 - 13:00: Beach again (and the realization that I really like the beach): Time to get back. Found a quiet stretch of sand. Built a slightly better sandcastle this time – the secret? Wet sand and pure, unadulterated concentration. The sound of the waves is hypnotizing.
- 13:00 - 14:00: Luncheon (and a revelation about clotted cream): Lunch at a café (much better than the day before). Ordered the clotted cream scone out of… obligation. Oh. My. God. THIS is what life is about. Clotted cream. In all its glorious, calorie-laden, heart-stopping perfection, the best thing I have ever had.
- 14:00 - 16:00: Exploration (and the Quest for the Perfect Picture): Walked towards the town, but the winds were stronger. Found a charming little shop selling seashells and trinkets. The harbor is so picturesque, and the shops are so colourful, so many great pictures.
- 16:00-18:00: Back to the Trelinda (for a nap, and tea): The tiredness is starting to hit again. Tea and a nap, yes.
- 18:00-19:00: Dinner (and an evening of quiet contemplation): Took it easy on the restaurant and ate something light.
- 19:00-22:00: Evening (and the unexpected conversations): Chatting with some of the other guests. Discovering that everyone’s got a story. Shared stories. Maybe I should write mine.
Day 3: Departure (and the lingering scent of the sea)
- 07:00-08:00: Check out and the final tea: Checking out, again with a charming conversation.
- 08:00-10:00: The train: The train is departing. Another train lie, but at least this time there was no cow on the tracks.
- 10:00 until… the next adventure: The memories. The smell of the sea. The clotted cream. Definitely coming back.
Final Thoughts:
Newquay. The Trelinda. Yes, it was a bit messy, a bit chaotic, a bit… me. But it was also beautiful, funny, and filled with moments I wouldn't trade for anything. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need another biscuit. And maybe a nap. And possibly to start planning my return trip.
Escape to Paradise: Fjordside Luxury Thatch Villa in Aarhus!
Unbelievable Newquay Stay: Trelinda Guest House - Ask Away, Mate! (Seriously, We've Heard It All)
Okay, spill the tea! Is Trelinda *actually* a "guest house"? Like, does it feel fancy or... nah?
Alright, let's be honest. "Guest house" sounds a bit like your grandma's place, right? And maybe, in a way, it *kind of* is, but in the BEST way. Trelinda's not a cold, clinical hotel. It's got character – in spades! Think slightly wonky wallpaper in the hallway (which, to be fair, might actually be *charming* in a "vintage" kinda way… or maybe it's just old. I couldn't decide!), a breakfast table that feels like you're joining a family, and a general air of… well, "lived-in."
Don't come expecting pristine, robot-maid service. Do come expecting a warm welcome, a cracking cuppa, and a place that actually feels, you know, real. My first impression? "Huh, this place is a bit… *much*. But in a good way."
The breakfast situation… what's the lowdown? I'm a fussy eater (aren't we all?).
Breakfast at Trelinda? Honestly, I can talk about this for DAYS. Firstly, they actually *ask* what you want. Revolutionary, I know! Okay, a full English is on the cards, and it's a solid effort. The sausages are decent, the bacon's crispy, the eggs are cooked just right – and, most importantly, they're *generous* with the portions.
But here's the REAL highlight: THE FRUIT SALAD. Seriously. They do this fruit salad – a mountain of fresh fruit, perfectly ripe, no watery melon in sight. I practically inhaled it every morning. And their coffee? Surprisingly good. I'm a coffee snob, and I was pleasantly surprised.
Now, if you're *super* fussy, maybe let them know in advance. But they're usually pretty accommodating. I saw them bend over backwards to make something suitable for a vegan couple. They even had gluten-free options! Bless 'em.
Is it noisy? I NEED my beauty sleep. Like, seriously need it.
Okay, let's get real. Newquay is, well, Newquay. It's PARTY CENTRAL. If you're expecting complete silence, you might be in the wrong town, frankly. Trelinda *is* on a reasonably quiet street, but you will probably hear some seagulls (they're unavoidable, trust me). Also, the walls are... well, they're not soundproofed. Let's put it that way.
One night, I'm pretty sure I heard the couple in the next room planning their next day's adventures, in vivid detail, at like, 3 AM. And then another night, a kid was screaming (probably a seagull nightmare). If you *absolutely* need pin-drop silence, earplugs are your best friend. Or, you know, maybe choose a library. But… you'll miss the sea breeze.
Honestly, it wasn't *terrible*. It’s just… a bit of life. Embrace it!
Location, location, location! How far are we from the beach/bars/everything?
PERFECT. Honestly, the location is bloody brilliant. Walkable to everything. Fistral Beach? 10 minutes, tops. Town centre with all the bars? Maybe 5 minutes. Honestly, I am extremely lazy, and I could happily stroll to everything.
It's tucked away just enough to be quiet (ish! See previous answer about noise!), but close enough to the action that you can stagger home safely after a few (or several) pints. It's a win-win situation. You're basically in the sweet spot. Pack your walking shoes - or even better, your flip-flops - because you'll be doing plenty of exploring from the moment you arrive.
The rooms… are they as "charming" as the rest of the place?
Right… so, the rooms. Let's just say they're… functional. And definitely "charming." Mine had a slightly sloping floor (character!), a comfy bed (thank GOD), and a decent shower (essential!). It’s not the Ritz, okay? Don’t go expecting marble bathrooms and gold taps.
The furniture may or may not be from the 70s, and again, you’ll have to decide if it’s vintage cool or just old. But they're clean, they're comfortable, and they've got everything you *actually* need. Plus, they had proper tea and coffee making facilities! (Crucial for a Brit, obviously).
One minor thing I noticed, and it's a *very* minor niggle, but the TV remote wasn't the most user-friendly. But hey, who watches TV when you're in Newquay? Go out and enjoy the town!
Any downsides? Be honest!
Okay, alright. The downsides:
- WiFi: It wasn't the fastest in the world. I'm not sure if it's improved, but sometimes I had to wander into the dining room to send an email. Mildly annoying, but hey, you're on holiday! Unplug, people!
- The parking: Spaces are limited. I lucked out, but I could see it being a bit of a nightmare during peak season.
- The… I'm just going to say it… the shower pressure wasn’t the strongest. It wasn’t terrible, but if you want a power shower experience, this is not the place. Small price to pay, I think.
I keep hearing about this "amazing" owner... Tell me more!
OH MY GOODNESS. The owner is a CHARACTER. I'm not even going to name names, but wow. Let's just say... he's *present*. He's there at breakfast, buzzing around, chatting to everyone, offering advice, and generally making sure everyone feels welcome. He's a proper host, in the old-fashioned sense of the word. He's got stories for days, he's genuinely interested in people, and he's the heart and soul of the place.
I saw him giving directions to a lost family, offering a lift to the surf dudes, and generally being incredibly lovely and helpful. One morning, he spent a solid twenty minutes talking to me about the local seagulls and their "unique personalities." (I'm not sure I learned anything, but it was entertaining).
He's quirky, he's enthusiastic, he's opinionated (he *loves* Newquay!), and he's the reason I'd go back, more than anything else. He madeStayin The Heart
